Hating Me into Loving Me???

Him: Sit.List all the things you dont like about yourself

Me (scribbling fast and furiously): Uhm, so that we are not here for the next three months, can you give me a limit? Do you mean things I hate about myself, or things I really dont like about myself, or things….

Him: Let’s just limit it To things that if you could change, you would like yourself a bit more

Me (I still havent come up for air since I started scribbling): Should I only mention things i do at work, or at home, or when I’m in company…

Him:I think we should limit it to the first ten things you can think about.

Me (Looking u dejectedly): Just ten? I’m already on number thirteen. And I got a whoole lot more to…

Him: Thirteen is fine.(He stretched out his hands and snatched the list from my grasping fingers)

Dang. I just thought about number 14. I hate that I have just written all this stuff about myself that is only going to cause this man to look down on me even more than he does already.

Why do I do this to myself. Why?

He slides me another sheet of paper

Him: Now I want you to write ten things you like about yourself

Me: Umm… I have to think…

Him: How do you do it? Go through life, being your own worst critic and disbeliever

Me: It’s not like I don’t love myself. It’s just that I need a little more tweaking…

Him: Tweaking, for what purpose?

Me: So that I’ll be better of course

Him: Better for what purpose?

Me: So that I’ll be able to achieve more

Him: Achieve more for what purpose?

Me: So that I’ll be more at par with others of course

Him: And why do you want to be at par with others?

Me: I guess… so that I’ll love me more

Him: It seems pretty obvious you cant hate yourself into loving yourself

Me: I guess… so  I’m stuck with just hating myself, huh?

Him: You can cut all the prerequisites and just love yourself. Now. This minute

Me: How?

Him: Everytime life asks you what you would change about you, first start with who would not exchange you for the world

Me: Will it work?

Him: There’s only one way to find out. You may go now. 

Me (leaving the room)

Him: Oh. And by the way. Number 12. I love number 12. It makes you different. And number 2. And especially number 4…

God told them, “I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!

Jeremiah 31: 3b

The Message Bible translation

 

 

 

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God is my only connection o…

A little context first (it occured to me that the topic has a Nigerian flavour to it).

I grew up in a christian home. Yes, my parents were a part of the S.U. movement of the seventies. And they were in the academics- trained at the prestigious University College, Ibadan (now called UI=University of Ibadan). So growing up, the values I was taught were hardwork (which translated as school diligence) and serving God. That was what I really needed to lead a successful life.

I’m not sure if primary school  children have any ethics but ‘hardwork and God only’ served me well in Secondary school. Again, I need to clarify. By ‘God only’, I’m referring to serving God from a mostly religious point of view. Yes I loved Him, but I also needed to ‘settle Him’ by doing all the right things. (Obviously I wasnt perfect but I tried reaalllyyy

Empire of Lies

Now that I’ve written out the title, I dont even feel like writing anything anymore.

I mean, how cool is the phrase ‘Empire of Lies’.

(I told y’all I have a thing for one liners. And New years. And digressing.)

Anyway, I was strolling on the streets of twitter, minding my own business, when I saw a quote that is still blowing my mind right now.

Truth is treason in an empire of Lies

George Orwell