I’ll not bore you with details about the rest of the reception.
All I want to say is this new fad of the bride and her train doing choreography- me I don’t know about it. But of course my opinion doesn’t count. If they are happy to do it, they should by all means.
I also wont mention the little money-spraying scuffle that happened on our way out of the reception. It upset wifey then and I’m sure bringing it up now will only cause trouble.
Thankfully, we were soon sent on our merry way unto the rest of our lives. Starting at the hotel where we had booked 2 nights, before we were going to travel to Dubai for the honeymoon. Finally, I had my bride all to myself. And me… I had plans.
But wifey was tired so…
The next day, I woke up to the sound of wifey praying. To my groggy mind, it sounded funny. I wasn’t hearing the praying part, only the amens. Fervent ones too. I was drifting off again when I heard her say ‘Thank you so much, mummy. God bless you ma’
I smiled a little.
‘This my iyawo is definitely a learner’.
Why else would she put on her phone within 1 week of getting married? Didnt she know the calls and text messages would keep coming in in a frenzy? Me, I had gotten a emergency SIM card which I would use only if absolutely necessary. Like ‘end-of-the-world’ necessary. My real line was going to be switched off for a while.
I rolled over to face her, smiling ‘Good morning baby’ I greeted. Her face lit up to find me awake and just like that- first base.
Ope o, I thought. But of course I thought too soon.
‘We need to talk’ She pulled back and told me
‘Yes’ She smiled sadly at me, as if she was talking to an imbecile, and sat up. And folded her arms
‘Okay? Whats up?’ I asked her, trying to figure out how I went from Base 1 to ‘We need to talk’
‘I was just on the phone with mummy…’ Wifey was saying
‘I called her just to thank them, you know it was really a honor for them to officiate at our wedding…’ My wife continued
It seemed a cloud filled with loudly buzzing bees had just descended into the room. I mean, why else would the room suddenly seem to get darker and my ears start ringing, both at the exact same time?
‘Wait, wait, wait, wait…’ I heard myself saying ‘Is Mrs P ‘mummy’? And does this talk we have anything to with whatever she told you on the phone?’
Her eyes were wide ‘Why are you upset, and why are you mentioning mummy’s name with such anger?’
‘I AM NOT ANGRY’
Wifey fled into the bathroom in tears at my ‘inexplicable outburst’.
I spent the next 2 hours begging her, (through the locked bathroom door o) assuring
her I felt nothing but love for Mrs P, and that she totally misread my reaction. Plus I
got to find out that Mrs P had advised her that she must always love and care for me.
And put me first. That is what she was about to tell me before I started shouting.
By the time she came out of the bathroom, the only physical feeling I truly had was hunger. But wifey didnt want room service- the hotel was overhanging the sea. It would be totally romantic to have our first breakfast there.
Of course I was going to agree to whatever plan she thought up.
So we washed our faces and brushed our teeth, spent sometime rummaging through our load for suitable romantic breakfast clothes (she did most of the rummaging). Then she spent time doing just a little make up, spent time doing the romantic breakfast (me eating like a wolf, she taking selfies and welfies). Then she wanted us to take a tour of the 4 star hotel. Then…
Let me not bore you. All I can tell you was that the day was a waste. My point of view.
We spent the next day travelling to Dubai. Wifey never ceases to amaze me- she made like so many friends in the airport and on the plane. I even made a business contact there, thanks to her.
We arrived Dubai and hotel transfer took us to our hotel. Everything looked good. When I came into the room from checking out the view from our balcony- wifey was on the phone, giggling and laughing and saying ‘Yes sir’. Soon it became ‘Yes ma’.
I moved to the phone directory, I needed food. But wait, I should find out what she wants before I call. I signaled her
‘What do you want to eat?’ I mouthed to her
She shook her head and turned away from me, too caught up in whatever she was saying.
So like the good husband, I decided it was better for me to wait out her call, to allow her order undistractedly. That’s how I found myself unconsciously listening to her snippets from the call. Which was sounding very strange.
‘Who was that?’ I asked when she hung up
Her eyes became a little guarded ‘Mummy and daddy. I was calling to tell them we arrived safely’
I had no question in my mind who mummy and daddy were.
‘Seriously? Its like 12 midnight or so in Nigeria’ I told her, keeping my voice neutral. ‘What do you want to order?’
‘I’ll have whatever you are having’ She said. Then
‘Babe, I’m not sure you are aware of it, but I think you have this weird aversion to our parentts in the Lord and I’m not sure I feel too comfortable about it’
There was real sorrow in her voice
I had promised myself that I wasnt going to say anything about her strange attachment to our pastors, at least for the duration of the honeymoon. So I said nothing.
She must have taken my quiet for deep soul searching, so she went on
‘You see, we are very very fortunate to have such a close relationship with such great people. It is a great honor for us that they know us on first name basis and honestly, we cant love and honor them enough. God gave us parents like this for a purpose and…’
‘But it was the devil that put our biological parents in our lives abi?’ I couldn’t help myself
And that’s how fight number 2 started
I will kuku finish my story soon. Stay tuned for next week