It wasn’t you. It was me

Confession time (bell ringing)

So I was driving one night on one of those Lagos roads that both sides of it double as carparks. Anyway, needless to say, the road had been reduced to one lane and I soon found myself directly facing an oncoming vehicle.

One of us had to reverse.

No problem, I’ll do it.

As I started maneuvering, I noticed that the other car’s full headlight was on- shining right into my eyes.

Maybe the tiredness got to me. But I momentarily snapped and started gesticulating furiously to the other driver.

Isnt it common courtesy when you are face to face with another car to dim your full lights?

My ‘tormentor’ obliged and dimmed his light.

Hmmmph. That’s what he should have done from the start. But maybe I did overeact…

I soon cleared the way and we both went on our merry ways- until I looked down at my dashboard. There, idly staring back at me, was the blue light indicating my own full headlghts were on.

I somehow  had failed to see that and while I was there berating another driver for his lack of courtesy, I was doing the exact same thing.

I felt very sheepish.

But it made me remember all those arguments I have had in the past that I was 110% sure I was right. That my logic was flawless and my actions were nobler… only to learn a little bit more and realize;

It wasnt you; it was me


I hope I’m not the only one that has quite a bit of these ‘It wasnt you, it was me’ moments.

The headlamp incidence was probably trivial and insignificant. Unless, of course I happen to meet that man at an interview where I am the applicant and he’s the CEO of this company I have always wanted to work for- yikes.

But we don’t always get to  pull our feet out of our mouths so easily.

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger.

James 1:19

The Message Bible translation

I would have saved myself a lot of uncomfortable situations if I was more eager to try to understand from the other person’s perspective than being ready to defend my own position and opinion.

But the deed is done. It wasn’t you, it was me. Now what?

What I think is if it was big and important enough, if someone’s life was potentially altered by the erroneous judgement, acknowledge it to the other person and say you are sorry.

While I’m not sure there’s anywhere in the Bible where God says He will not answer your prayer if you dont apologize to all you have wronged- but we all know it is easier to forgive someone after they have apologized.

I was wrong. I am sorry.

Then move on!

Moving on can be tricky. Forgiving ourselves is sometimes much harder to do than forgiving another person.

But you cannot change the past.

What is done can never be ‘undid’. But we can learn to trust more in God than in our own human wisdom from such experiences.

And what is ahead?

A chance to experience unconditional love and acceptance from God; foot in mouth and all.

And a chance to be better and do better, as we grow in the Word and submit to the Holy Spirit’s nudging when he cautions us .

Have a nice week ahead

And stay Connected!

2 thoughts on “It wasn’t you. It was me

  1. I know a particular church denomination that believes in restitution in almost all cases even if it means opening old wounds … Is this what our blogger in chief is advocating? … is that necessary? I also know someone who almost has never said Sorry for anything, perhaps I should share this post with him …. shivers!!! ….

    Liked by 1 person

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